


homebound

by tkreyesevandiaz



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Babies, Domestic Fluff, Established Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Gen, Introspection, M/M, Married Couple, Married Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Near Future, POV Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Slice of Life, Surrogacy, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29693022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tkreyesevandiaz/pseuds/tkreyesevandiaz
Summary: Babies are tiny, and Eddie's heart is too small for his chest.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 22
Kudos: 254





	homebound

**Author's Note:**

  * For [madamewriterofwrongs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamewriterofwrongs/gifts).



> This is for my darling CJ's birthday, which was last week but I didn't have this done in time :// Happy birthday, love, and I hope you like this!
> 
> From the Tumblr prompt from many months ago: Who's more freaked out when they bring Vera home, Buck or Eddie? What does their first night look like?
> 
> Thank you SevenSoulmates for looking this over for me, you're the real MVP and I love you.
> 
> Rated Teen for surrogacy discussions, parental anxiety and insecurities

Babies are tiny.

That’s the first thought that pops into Eddie’s head as the nurse places a tiny child in his arms.

It’s not like he hasn’t seen this before. He held Christopher as soon as the nurse handed the screaming child to him, but Christopher was never this tiny. Christopher came out nearly hitting records with his birth weight, and while all babies had an air of fragility around them, the newborn in his hands right now puts the word ‘delicate’ to shame.

Their daughter looks absolutely miniscule, with her little button nose, the tufts of dark hair on her head, the way her mouth keeps forming little “o” shapes as she blinks up at him and the whole hand that won't even wrap completely around his finger. For a long minute, all those fears of parenting hit him all at once, despite having been at the forefront of it for the past six years, and Eddie’s terrified that he’s going to fuck this all up again, even if Buck won’t let him.

Eddie can’t tear his eyes away from her, even when his vision blurs for what seems like the fiftieth time tonight. Even when Buck’s arms come around both of them, Eddie only moves to push back firmly into him, gaze still fixed right on their daughter.

“Take your shirt off and sit down,” Eddie says after they’ve stood there for nearly ten minutes, just watching their daughter fuss and curl back and forth in Eddie’s arms. Buck complies quietly, pressing a kiss to his temple before moving to peel his shirt off. Once he’s settled, Eddie passes their daughter to him for the first skin-to-skin contact, blinking back tears the whole way as her head rests on Buck’s chest.

Buck’s smile at her is radiant as he kisses the top of her head, and for what seems like the millionth time, Eddie falls in love with him all over again. His husband’s eyes are wet too, but his grin stretches ear to ear as his arms cradle their daughter and it’s an image that settles right into Eddie’s bones, along with the rest of them. He pulls his phone out and snaps a few pictures.

Suddenly, he’s so glad that they set their boundaries on wanting privacy for this. Christopher’s waiting outside eagerly, but for this skin-to-skin contact, Buck and Eddie had wanted the time to themselves with her. After that, Chris would be the first to meet her, before they let everyone else take a peek.

As he watched their daughter shove a fist into her mouth as she yawned, Eddie thought back on how this even came to be. 

Becoming parents for the second time wasn’t something that had been on either of their radars, but one random mention of siblings from Christopher and the seed had been planted in both their minds.

From there, they’d made a decision, knowing they were in the best spot to opt for adding another kid to their family. Married for a year and a half, their son completely enraptured by the idea of a brother or sister to play with, and neither of them getting any younger...there really hadn’t been a better time than the present. 

So there began their research. They looked into every possible way to expand their family, but Adriana had offered to donate an egg when Eddie told her that they were thinking about adding another kid to their mix. After that, the decision was practically made for them.

They lucked out in many ways, having connections to the best surrogacy agencies through their family and friends. Their surrogate, Gillian, was one of the kindest, most genuine people they’d ever met. She’d been upfront about everything with them, this being her second surrogate pregnancy, and as first-timers, Buck and Eddie had been relieved to get personal insight into what the journey would look like.

She hadn’t wanted to stay in daily contact with the intended parents, which was understandable, so they’d worked out a deal with the agency that they would get to attend any medical appointments about the baby, and that if Gillian needed anything, she could call them instantly.

It wasn’t painless, nor easy. There were quite a few moments where they were anxious if the pregnancy even took during the embryo transfer, but the day it did, they must’ve cried all day just reading the text and pouring over the scans and test results. It was terrifying to even let themselves hope before the first trimester was up, but forty excruciatingly long weeks later, here they were.

“We need to name her,” Eddie says, kneeling down by Buck’s knee. The baby had found what seems like a fascination with the black ink on his chest, drowsily resting a tiny hand against it. Eddie reaches a finger out to her other hand, letting all five fingers wrap around it as he leans up to kiss his husband. Just like he thought, they don't wrap the whole way, Eddie's heart clenching at the image.

“We have a list somewhere, don’t we?”

They do. It’s filled with all the names they thought could suit their little family, suit this little person they hadn’t met until just now. Girl names, boy names, unisex names...they’d listed so many that it would be hell to choose from any of them. 

The name that comes to Eddie isn’t on any of the lists.

“Vera,” he says softly, looking at Buck for his reaction. “Truth. Faith.”

It’s that faith that brought them here. All those sleepless nights, fretting because they were too scared that their excitement would jinx everything. The trips to the fertility clinic, holding Adriana’s hand after she donated her egg, the back-and-forth on if they were pregnant to finally passing the first, then the second, then the third trimesters — there had been so many ups and downs. 

There’d been many moments, fleeting as some of them may have been, where they’d wondered if this was meant to be at all. They knew some parents tried for years with no success. Not that they would’ve slammed the door shut on expanding their family if the surrogacy didn’t pan out — adoption and fostering were also options they’d looked into — but surrogacy was where they’d set their heart, after pouring so much into it. 

“Vera,” Buck tests on his tongue, looking down at their daughter. “It’s perfect, Eddie. And...Madelyn. Vera Madelyn Diaz.” Knowing that Maddie’s name wasn’t anything but Maddie, Eddie knows that Buck just put a spin on it to pay homage to the one person who’s gotten him through the worst parts of his life.

As soon as he says it, Vera makes a sound, turning impossibly further into Buck’s skin. It’s not a cry, not quite a laugh either, but it feels like a pretty damn big sign to him.

“Looks like she’s made up her mind. Vera Madelyn Diaz, it is,” Eddie smiles when Buck bends to kiss him again, whispering, “I love you” against his lips.

“Here, take your turn.” Buck stands carefully, moving out of the way so Eddie can take his spot, shedding his shirt as Buck places Vera back in his arms, pulling out his phone to record the memory for the baby book and box they’ve started putting together.

“You think Chris will take some time to adjust now that she’s actually here?” Eddie asks quietly as Buck kneels next him. Initially, the twelve year age gap between their two kids made them nervous, but between Buck’s age gap with Maddie, and Harry’s with May, they were a little more confident about all of it. 

Buck shakes his head, reaching over to grab a baby blanket to drape around them. “Not right now, no, but when the novelty wears off, he might. Just because all the attention can’t be his. I’d be worried if he adjusted too well, to be honest. I'd just keep thinking he's hiding something.”

They’d kept Chris part of the process as much as they could, not wanting him to feel left out or isolated from the pregnancy in any way. The specific mechanics of the whole surrogacy were kept out of their discussion, but Buck and Eddie had taken turns explaining exactly what they were doing, and that it wouldn’t be like his friend’s mom, who was pregnant. 

It had led to more than a few awkward conversations, but Eddie’s glad they had them. Chris wasn’t a kid anymore, and they were fast approaching the years where he’d be curious about literally everything. 

“Okay, dads, do we have a name?” Lily breezes in with a flutter of papers, setting them down on the counter.

“Yeah. Vera Madelyn Diaz,” Buck answers, standing up to fill the birth certificate in. “Hey Eds, I’m spelling Madelyn M-A-D-E-L-Y-N. It looks so much cooler than the usual spelling.”

Eddie laughs, much to Vera’s displeasure, who immediately fusses at the way she’s jostled. He pats her back a couple times immediately, ignoring the rush of panic that shutters through him at the sound of her cry. 

“It’s a gorgeous name, and you two are already naturals over there,” Lily laughs. “I’ve gotta take her for just a couple more tests, and she’s all yours.”

Eddie reluctantly hands Vera over, slipping his shirt back on and turning to look at Buck, the two of them now alone in the small room.

“We did it, Eddie,” Buck whispers, eyes sparkling. Eddie steps closer and wraps him in a hug, breathing in the unique scent of his husband’s skin. 

Eddie has never imagined his life taking the turns that it did, but for it having brought him here, with two perfect kids and a husband he loves with every part of him, he can’t complain. Given the tightness of Buck’s arms around him, he’s thinking along the same lines, too.

“I love you,” Eddie repeats as they pull away, dragging his hands up to Buck’s face. 

“Love you, too,” Buck whispers, pressing a slow kiss onto his mouth. Eddie smiles at his partner, linking their left hands.

Lily comes back in what seems like no time at all, letting them know what time they could take Vera home tomorrow. She assures them that Gillian is doing great, too, and they hand her a letter to give their surrogate.

“I wish we could thank her in person, again,” Buck brings up privately.

“We’ve given her a way to reach us if she wants to be friends, but she’s not new to this. There’s probably a reason she doesn’t want us to see her after the baby’s been given,” Eddie replies. 

They had been in the delivery room with her, holding onto her hands as she pushed, but once Vera had come into the world with a screaming cry, their labor nurse, Edna, had placed the baby on Gillian’s chest.

Having read up on the importance of not taking away the surrogate contact immediately, Buck and Eddie had let themselves be shooed from the room while all the post-birth procedures went underway, not wanting Gillian to be uncomfortable. 

Their found family had been waiting outside the whole time, all of them standing as soon as Buck and Eddie came out.

The pronouncement of them having a girl had led to quite a few tears on everyone’s part, but that was just as much as they got time for before they had to go back for the next stage of the process.

Just like before, they step out together to Christopher’s eager face, surrounded by the rest of their family. 

“We named her Vera,” Buck announces to a bunch of hushed cheers. In a softer voice, directed entirely to Maddie, he says, “Vera Madelyn Diaz.”

Eddie watches as his sister-in-law’s eyes fill with tears. He steps away to let Buck and Maddie have their moment, folding Maddie in his own hug when they’re finished.

“Can I see her?” Christopher asks as Buck hugs him.

“Sure, buddy, as soon as Lily comes back with her. They just had to make sure she’s healthy.”

“Did you do the skin-to-skin contact with her?” Hen asks. 

Eddie nods, gesturing between himself and Buck. “Yeah we both did, she didn’t cry at being passed from one to the other, so the emotional transfer period shouldn’t be too painful. Gillian’s doing great, too.”

As he relays the information, he sends his own mental prayers of thanks, never wanting to take anything for granted. He knows just how lucky they got it, and he never wants to lose sight of that.

“When can we bring her home?” Chris asks, almost vibrating with his excitement.

“Hopefully tomorrow. She has to stay for at least a day,” Buck answers, ruffling his hair. "As soon as the doctors give us the green light, we'll take her."

Before anyone can ask any more questions, Lily comes back out to get them. This time, Buck and Eddie take Christopher into the room with them, having him sit down on the couch while Eddie brings his new baby sister over.

“Vera, meet your big brother, Christopher,” Eddie whispers as he carefully sets her down in Chris’ lap, Buck showing him how to hold her.

“Support her head, buddy, she can’t hold it up herself just yet,” he guides, placing Chris’ hands and arms in the appropriate cradle. Once Buck nods at him, Eddie lets her go.

Christopher whispers to Vera, in a voice too soft for either of them to hear, but enough for Eddie to grab his phone and take a few pictures. “I think my heart is going to explode,” he tells Buck around the lump in his throat.

Buck laughs wetly, tilting their temples together. “It can’t explode, we’ve got a lot of these moments left in life.”

Eddie smiles at him, capturing his lips in another chaste kiss. He’s right — they’ve got a lot of these moments to go. A lot of things that they're still to catalogue for their kids, for their family.

“She doesn’t look like any of us,” Chris observes, running a finger over her hair.

“As she gets older, we’ll be able to see who she looks like,” Eddie tells him. He already knows that their family and friends are outside debating who the baby’s going to look the most like, but those aren’t bets they’re going to get the answer to right now. 

Right now, as much as Eddie hates to say it, but Vera looks like...any other newborn baby. Aside from her hair and eyes, there is nothing else that’s going to distinguish her from the other ones in the nursery.

“Was I this small?”

Eddie barks out a laugh. “No bud, you were a lot bigger than she is.”

“I think there’s a picture of Eddie holding you, Chris, on the day you were born. I found it the other day while we were setting up the nursery.” Buck directs the last part to him. Eddie raises his eyebrows; he didn’t even know there was a picture. He had been way too focused on how much he didn’t want to leave his wife and kid as he held him to notice if anyone had been snapping pictures.

“Let’s take her to meet everyone else quickly, okay? She’s growing tired,” Buck says. Vera blinks blearily at Christopher as he nods at Buck.

Eddie holds the door open as Buck walks outside, barely resisting the urge to tell everyone to get in a straight line and not crowd her.

Luckily enough, Bobby takes charge of it without them saying anything, rounding the peanut gallery up so they don’t overwhelm Vera. 

The introductions go on with a bunch of cooing and squeals and sounds of awes as their daughter is passed around the room. Buck hovers around with his phone, snapping pictures as if he can even see past the tears in his eyes. Not that Eddie’s one to talk, because he doesn’t think he’s happy-cried this much since the day Chris was born. 

On one occasion, Eddie hears Bobby telling Buck how proud of them he is, and on another, Eddie’s parents FaceTime to see their granddaughter. Buck’s parents call to congratulate them too, and they send a picture of Vera over.

They make it through the rest of the night as their family begins to disperse. Once only Christopher is left, Eddie exchanges a look with Buck as they try to decide whether to go home or for one of them to stick around in case Gillian or Vera need them. 

In the end, Lily convinces them to go home. “There are still a few formalities left for you two to complete to be eligible to take her home tomorrow, and you _both_ need to complete them on a clear head. Go home, take Chris, get some rest. They’ll be here in the morning, and God forbid anything happens, we’ll call you immediately.”

She’s right. They would be completely useless here, so Eddie picks up a sleeping Christopher and carries him out to Buck’s Jeep.

“Dad,” Chris mumbles into his shoulder. “Did we bring Vera?”

Eddie strokes a hand down their son’s back as Buck unlocks the door and presses a kiss to Chris’ hair before climbing into the driver’s seat. “Tomorrow, buddy. We can take her home tomorrow.”

Buck’s hand finds its way to Eddie’s thigh as soon as they’re all settled, driving towards home.

“Tomorrow,” he says, a whisper of awe in his voice.

* * *

Turns out that they were decidedly _not_ prepared for Vera’s arrival.

“This is ridiculous,” Buck grumbles, tapping nervously on the steering wheel. “We’ve been making lists for every single damn thing for nine months and now we’re running around like headless chickens.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, nervously pressing his fingers together to crack the knuckles, even though he knows it’s a habit that drives Buck crazy. Given how shot their nerves are, he’s not surprised when Buck shoots him a scathing glare, tangling their fingers together.

“At least this way you’ll stop doing that,” he says. Eddie wisely doesn’t mention he’s not going to be able to crack his knuckles so soon after doing it once, instead tightening his grip on his husband’s hand. Who cares that both their palms are sweaty enough that they keep slipping?

Eddie didn’t think he’d be swamped in this stark level of fear at just the mere prospect of taking Vera out of the safety of the hospital into the real world.

It’s not only taking her away from the hospital, where nurses and doctors could correct them if there’s something they’re doing wrong, but also about everything becoming far too real, far too fast. It’s about both of them knowing that no matter how many parenting books they flip through, the practical is a whole other battle that nothing can prepare them for.

Eddie wasn’t there the first time. Chris was home for five days and four sleepless nights before Eddie was shipped back out, pressing kisses over his son’s face, knowing that he wouldn’t be back to see this phase. Another part of him was acutely aware of the high possibility of never making it back to see his wife and son at all.

This time, everything is different.

It’s not different because he’s got a kid and he’s not in the Army anymore. Not once has Eddie thought that Vera is his second chance to make it right, because what he told his father before leaving Texas still stands. He isn’t ever going to make up for those mistakes with anyone but Christopher, and to use another child to make himself feel better is, in his mind, the worst thing in the world a parent could do. 

But that doesn’t change the fact that his palms are sweating, he can taste the dryness in his mouth, and he’s two seconds from shaking out of his skin. It doesn’t change the fact that every bit of medic training, parental advice and knowledge, and his own experience with Christopher have flown straight out the window at just the sight of her.

“I don’t want him to feel like I won’t love him anymore,” Buck says quietly, apropos of nothing. “Or that I’ll love Vera more because there’s the biological link.”

Eddie jolts slightly at the words, looking at his husband. “Why would he think that?”

“He hasn’t said anything to me, but the past couple of weeks, he’s been clinging to me more than usual, as if I’m going to leave.” The words sound like they’ve been pulled from him forcefully, jagged and raw with Buck’s apprehension. “I’m not sure what it is, but I looked it up, and that’s all I found. Think about it, Eds.”

“He didn’t tell me anything, either,” Eddie frowns, peering past the dashboard as if he could see their eldest standing there. “But hey, I’m sure it’s not that. He’s enjoying being the only kid for the last couple days he will be, and now...he’s just not. No matter how much we try to split our time equally, we’re going to end up juggling a lot of things. With Vera, we’re all going to go through an adjustment.”

Eddie knows that this stems from Buck’s insecurities too. He knows that Buck has loved Christopher before he’s loved any other part of the Diaz family, including Eddie. And he knows that part of him doesn’t believe that he deserves to be Christopher’s father in the dark moments. In the same way Eddie’s nerves have hooked claws into his insecurities to wrench them all to the surface, Buck’s have done the same to him, leaving both of them feeling off-kilter.

“I’m scared, too,” he admits. “Even though we’ve known that this was what we were fighting for this whole time, yesterday made it very...real. But that’s our daughter in there, Chris’ little sister. We’re going to bring her home, and then we’ll take it from there.”

“Okay,” Buck says in a determined voice, twisting to kiss him. “Let’s just do this. We’re not gonna get anything done sitting here. It’s you and me, the whole way.”

“Our way, or the highway,” Eddie chokes out, staring at the hospital now that his newfound bravado has melted out his ears. Apparently only one of them can be determined at the same time. He misses Buck’s scrunched nose but he doesn’t miss the fond muttering of “idiot” under his husband’s breath, and glares at him for it.

They leave the car only to U-turn and quickly make sure the car seat is ready for the millionth time. Eddie grabs the baby bag with a pair of clothes for Vera before taking Buck’s hand.

“Ready?” he asks, stealing a kiss before they enter the hospital.

Buck nods and squeezes his hand. “Ready.”

* * *

They drive back home in a daze, almost.

The rest of the papers have been signed, Vera is officially theirs, Gillian is doing amazing, but now they’re freaking out more than anything.

Eddie’s driving this time, going nearly ten below the limit to make sure he doesn’t jostle the car seat. Buck’s sitting in the seat next to her to make sure, eyes fixed on their daughter. 

“Eddie if you keep going this slow, we’re going to get pulled over,” Buck comments, gesturing to one of the many police cars they pass. “And none of them are going to be Athena.”

He forces himself to let go of his tighter-than-hell grip on the steering wheel, pushing the gas a little further, much to the relief of everyone who was honking behind him. “Sorry,” he mumbles, flicking his blinker to turn onto their street.

Thankfully, the hospital isn’t far from their house, and they’re back home before they know it. Buck sets the carrier in front of the couch and the two of them lower themselves next to her, staring at their second kid.

Eddie drinks in the sight of Vera for the first time since they’ve left the hospital. They dressed her in an outfit Chris had picked out online, covered her with a blanket and bundled her up to bring her home. She’s still wearing the hospital-issued hat, and she’s one of the most adorable things Eddie has ever seen.

Carla’s going to bring Christopher home in three hours, so that’s three hours of quiet, with Vera sucking on her thumb as she sleeps.

Naturally, she stirs and starts crying as soon as Eddie thinks of the q-word, which absently makes him think that the superstition doesn’t only apply to firehouses. The shrill cry pierces the silence, and for a moment, all Buck and Eddie can do is panic.

As quick as the panic comes, they shove it down just as fast, both of them scrambling to calm her back down. “Oh for God’s sake, we’ve babysat more kids than we know what to do with,” Eddie grumbles, gently pulling Vera out of the carrier while Buck sprints to the kitchen to scrub his hands and prepare a bottle of formula. “We can handle our own kid.”

Eddie stands up and rocks Vera back and forth, patting her back periodically. The crying pierces his eardrums but his mind’s too busy racing for ways to calm her down. 

They changed her diaper right before leaving the hospital so it couldn’t be that. Buck’s working on the hunger, and she just woke up from a nap, so it doesn’t feel like that would be tiredness either.

Before Eddie can jump to more conclusions, Buck comes back with the bottle, testing the temperature on his wrist the way Maddie showed him. 

“Here,” he offers. Eddie sits back down, folding his legs underneath himself to balance Vera properly as he pressed the bottle’s nipple against her mouth. 

Thankfully, she calms down instantly with the food and the tension bleeds out of their shoulders, Buck collapsing with relief next to him. “Thank God,” Eddie mutters, holding the bottle at an angle so she doesn't guzzle down too fast.

“Let me go get the bassinet,” Buck says as he hops back up. “Dibs on burping her!” he calls over his shoulder. Eddie shakes his head at his husband's back but focuses his attention back on Vera.

Buck comes back with the supplies in record time, setting the bassinet in the corner and draping one of the burping cloths over his shoulder. Vera finishes suckling on the bottle in record time, blinking her eyes open and giving him a milky smile. Eddie’s eyes widen instantly as he moves to hiss at Buck. “Get the phone, get the phone, she’s smiling!” 

Poor Buck’s flustered enough to nearly lose grip on his phone, but they manage to get at least one picture of her smiling at them that’s not _too_ blurry. They both know that babies don’t actually smile until 6 to 12 weeks, and that she’s just smiling on reflex, but they can’t help themselves from getting excited anyway.

“Okay, I sent it to everyone, and now we’ll probably have a few of them breaking down the doors any second,” Buck peers at his phone, tossing it aside as Eddie hands him Vera.

“All of that for tomorrow. Today’s for us. I hope she’s awake when Chris gets home,” Eddie says, pulling his own phone out to read through the chat. There’s Maddie threatening Buck to stop sending pictures unless they want everyone on their doorstep in the next half an hour, Karen telling them that they _have_ to keep sending pictures, Bobby asking if the bassinet he helped put together was working and Chim wondering how panicked they are.

It’s a perfect playback to the day Grace was born, Chimney losing his shit in the waiting room before Hen finally forced her best friend down beside her, imparting a few words of wisdom that finally got him to sit still for two seconds while Eddie had been doing the same thing to Buck. It was borderline comedic how fast Buck and Chim shot up when the nurse came out asking for the family of Maddie Buckley. 

Gillian’s labor wasn’t as long as Maddie’s had been, and anyway, Maddie had needed a C-section. This time, by the time the rest of their friends and family got to the hospital, Buck and Eddie were inside with Gillian while Karen picked Chris up from school.

“Chim’s question is the only one I’ve got an answer for,” Buck snorts when Eddie shows it to him, shaking his head as he stands with Vera over his shoulder, burping her.

“And that is?”

Eddie watches as his husband turns his cheek to rest on Vera’s temple lightly as he thinks the answer over. Suddenly, his heart is swelling ten times its original size, and it can’t be healthy how quickly the breath gets knocked out of him at the sight.

He takes another picture.

“Terrified,” Buck finally settles on. “Like, what do I know about babies?”

Eddie cocks a brow and looks pointedly at where Vera’s cradled in his hands, safe and sound as she makes little hiccupping noises when Buck pats her back repeatedly. “I’d say a lot.” Buck gives him a deadpan look that Eddie meets with a shrug. “I get it. It’s something we’re both learning, right? No matter what either of us have been through with Chris or Grace or any other kids we know, _every_ kid is different. Especially in the newborn stages.”

“Yeah,” Buck sighs. “You’d think we’d be better prepared with the number of times Maddie and Chimney have dropped Grace off with us.”

“And then texted every twenty minutes to make sure we didn’t destroy her.” 

Vera lets out the burp they were waiting for, wriggling in Buck’s arms as soon as she’s done. Eddie laughs at her antics while Buck adjusts her in his arms until she’s staring up at him instead. It’s oddly endearing to watch his husband, as broad and tall as he is, cradle this tiny infant in his arms.

“You know, I can’t even blame them for that now,” Buck complains, swaying back and forth to rock her to sleep. It doesn’t look like Vera will be awake when Chris gets home, but she’s not going anywhere anymore.

“For texting us every twenty minutes?” Eddie snorts. “Yeah. We’re gonna be the exact same way.”

“If not worse.”

Eddie laughs, getting up to kiss Buck and lean down to press a kiss to Vera’s forehead. “Maybe we shouldn’t let anyone take her at all. Problem solved.”

“Think we’ll make it worse when the cavalry comes for us, on allegations of keeping her away from them.” He’s got a point for sure.

It takes no time at all for Vera to fall asleep on her full stomach, curled and safe as she is in her father’s arms. Eddie steals another picture, ignores Buck’s rolled eyes, and brings out the baby blanket to drape over their daughter as Buck settles her down in the bassinet.

“You think we should swaddle her?” Buck whispers.

“Not when she’s already asleep. Next time,” Eddie replies, looking down at the blanket in his hand. Instead, he tucks it around her securely, scooting back to prop his back against the couch. Buck crawls towards him, settling into his side as they watch Vera sleep.

“Better shoot Carla a message to bring Chris quietly,” he says. 

Eddie does just that, remembering Chris’ excitement over breakfast. “He was over the moon this morning,” he tells Buck. 

“I’m glad that he is, but I’m still going to talk to him about that thing,” Buck replies, gesturing towards Vera. “I love her with every part of me but I love Chris the exact same way. It’s not an exchange and I don’t want him to feel like it is.”

Eddie loves this man with every square inch of himself. 

Too happy for words, he leans forward to kiss Buck languidly, unhurried and trying to press his love into his skin. “Have I told you I love you today?”

Buck laughs, pressing their foreheads together. “Mhm, only about a thousand times, but it can’t hurt to hear it again.”

“I’m convinced I’m the luckiest man in the world,” Eddie says quietly, wrapping his arms tighter around his husband, taking in the sight of Vera sleeping over his shoulder. "I'm so glad I get to do this with you."

“We both are.” Buck smiles.

It only gets better when Chris comes home from school to find Buck and Eddie in the exact same position, Vera still blissfully asleep. Carla’s the one to take a picture of them this time, angled around Vera’s bassinet without disturbing her.

Chris sits down with them as he talks about his day at school and how all the other kids in his class are excited to hear about his baby sister. Buck untangles himself from Eddie to ask Chris to come talk to him for a second, and when they both emerge, Eddie sees that both his boys’ eyes are wet but Chris is smiling a little wider and brighter. Once again, Buck’s hit the jackpot with what their son needs.

“Proud of you,” Eddie tells his husband privately, kissing his cheek. Buck smiles secretly, looking pleased and content with himself.

“Can I take her to school?” Chris asks eagerly as Vera stirs, thankfully falling right back asleep.

Eddie didn’t even know middle schoolers liked babies enough for Chris to want to show her off, but he chuckles and tells him, “I’m not sure she’s old enough for that just yet, bud. She’s going to sleep a lot for now. Maybe when Buck or I come pick you up one of these days, you can bring your friends to see her for a minute.”

The answer pacifies Christopher, who promptly opens his homework book and starts working on it. Eddie walks Carla out and joins his boys back on the couch, he and Buck picking their discussion about work back up.

Leaving Vera to go to work is going to be one of the hardest things they’ve ever done, especially knowing not even Chris will be here with her, but they’ll have to manage. They only have two weeks of paternity leave.

“You know what we should’ve done. You take the first two weeks off, and I take the second. That way one of us is home all month,” Buck suggests.

Eddie shakes his head. “Bobby said that’s not how the paternity leave works, we have to take it within the baby being born or adopted.”

“Stupid regulations,” Buck grumbles, sighing when Eddie wraps an arm around his shoulder. Bobby tried pulling as many strings as he could but it was either 2 weeks paid each right after, or unpaid vacation leave whenever they wanted. After that, as much as Eddie hated it, there was no question. They needed the money.

“It’ll work out,” he tells his husband. “Those are all problems for another day. For now, let’s just enjoy...this.”

He gestures to where Chris is solving math problems on a scrap piece of notebook paper, and Vera sleeping soundly in the background, Buck wrapped tight in Eddie’s arms. Cocooned as they are in their own bubble today, tomorrow’s probably going to bring a whole new set of needles to burst it.

Buck agrees with him by slackening some of the tension out of his shoulders to fit more solidly against Eddie. “Yeah.”

The night passes just like this. Buck orders pizza for them, wrinkling his nose when Eddie and Chris gesture for pineapple. Vera wakes up some time into their second slice of pizza, blinking curiously with eyes too big for her face. Christopher gets the chance to talk to her some more, which leads to more tears from him and Buck, but as soon as he stops talking, Vera starts _bawling_ and this time, it takes nearly an hour to calm her down. 

This time, Eddie sets their sleeping, swaddled daughter into the infant crib in his and Buck’s bedroom to avoid anything waking her up, switching on the baby monitor.

When he and Buck curl up in bed together after checking on Vera, Eddie presses his lips to the side of Buck’s head and keeps them there, so happy that part of him feels like he’ll wake up from it any minute now. 

“It’s not a dream,” Buck whispers, kissing the center of his chest. “We deserve good things too.” Eddie repeats the affirmation out loud, closing his husband in his arms. 

They get up 3 separate times for Vera during the first night alone, but it’s all worth it.

He really is the luckiest man in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments make my day ♥♥
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at [zeethebooknerd](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/zeethebooknerd) or on Twitter at [tkreyesevandiaz](https://twitter.com/tkreyesevandiaz).


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